Everyone has their own priorities and interests. Some things make others happy that we don’t understand. And that’s OKAY. Some people choose to travel, some choose to invest in their homes, others choose to have an expensive hobby, etc. Who are we to say what makes someone happy, feel good, or confident, is wrong? It’s mind-blowing to me that people spend crazy amounts of money on alcohol and cigarettes and don’t bat an eye. But, watching someone else invest in taking care of themselves (whether it be their skin, body, soul, or appearance), is frowned upon. Vanity? Maybe? I’m extremely vain. I don’t want to look crazy . No apologies here. Don’t get me wrong- I’ll still love you if YOU look crazy, I just don’t want to look crazy. And your crazy may be a different definition than my crazy.
Some people like to shop, eat fast food every day, go to sporting events around the world, and some like to feel and look good. I’ve heard clients say they’re sometimes embarrassed that they care so much about their appearance and are scared to admit that looking good makes them feel good. I get it, there’s a fine line between wanting to look and feel confident in your own skin and being obsessed. What if we were obsessed with building each other up and embrace the fact that looking good, makes us feel good? And when we feel good, we do good.
Increasing self-esteem does more than just increase your confidence. It also improves what psychologists call “emotional immunity.” Good Emotional immunity helps us be more resilient to anxiety and stress, meaning you can actually impact your physical immune system as well!
Even animals understand self-care is a needed practice. Monkeys participate in social grooming because the release of oxytocin makes the action calming and wonderful. When stressed, rats will start compulsively self-grooming to make themselves feel better. Now that I’ve compared you to monkeys and rats, let me reitterate my point:
Taking time to pump yourself up with the very hormone that makes people wonderful to be around is surely worth the investment you put into yourself.
So next time you want to wear a little extra makeup, spend time on your skin and hair, exercise, meditate, or dress extra nice for work – don’t feel embarrassed. Looking good doesn’t have to be about vanity. It might just be about feeling good as well. Give yourself permission to feel good. Others may take note rather than shame others for a feeling they, unfortunately, can’t relate to (yet).